Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Red Velvet Cupcakes

My husband gave me a night off last night. “Go do something for yourself,” he said and shooed me out the door. I got in the car and for a few minutes I felt free and played the radio really loud. But then I wondered: What do I do with myself? What do I even like to do?

Has it been so long since I had time to myself that I’ve forgotten what makes me happy? I mean, don’t get wrong, I love being with my little girl and husband and this makes me extraordinarily happy. But there was a time before these two, a lot of time, when I was deliriously happy without either. I had a packed schedule every night. What did I do with myself? And where is that woman now?

Driving down Sepulveda Blvd. on a Tuesday night, I pledged to dig deep and drive until I could think of things that make me happy and things I enjoy doing. And this is what came to me:

  • A bargain
  • Shopping for a bargain
  • Design Magazines with photos of colorful kitchens
  • Pretty plates
  • Anthropologie
  • Craft stores
  • Craft fairs
  • My sewing machine
  • Learning how to use my sewing machine
  • My baby girl
  • Looking at baby clothes for my baby girl
  • Shopping for overpriced baby toys from Europe
  • Strolling through quirky gift shops
  • Farmers markets
  • Watching foreign language films
  • Planning a trip
  • Taking a trip
  • Men with accents
  • My husband
  • Bookstores
  • Strolling through bookstores with an overpriced coffee, collecting a pile of books, finding a corner and sitting down to read my pile
  • Strong women with loud voices
  • Coffee shops with friends
  • Loyal and loving friends
  • My sisters
  • Family dinners
  • Cooks Illustrated
  • Making dinner from a recipe
  • Baking red velvet cupcakes
  • Wrapping Christmas gifts
  • Making Christmas tags
  • Decorating for Christmas
  • Christmas morning at my parents house
  • Rearranging the living room furniture
  • Board games
  • A good book
  • A good movie with popcorn and Red Vines
  • Comedy shows
  • Improv
  • Laughing
  • A musical
  • Dancing to eighties music
  • Museums with things you can touch
  • Disneyland
  • A good story
  • Storytelling
  • Writing
  • Having written
  • Posting a new blog

I’m not sure why this list was so difficult to make. I can take care of my baby, my husband and my household, so why have I lapsed on nurturing my own creativity. Why is it so hard to remember what I like and like to do?

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