Friday, December 01, 2006

The Cocktail Waitress




Some times I just wish I could go back to being a cocktail waitress. Life was so much easier as a cocktail waitress. Every night was a party and my biggest concerns were where to get brunch later, how many of the boys I gave my number to tonight would call me tomorrow, and was Molly Jean going to cover my shift next Saturday.

When I was a cocktail waitress, I was part of the hip crowd, I knew what music was 'out' and which hairstyles were 'in'. I wore trendy clothes, slept until noon, went to the gym every day and had glamorous friends that thought I was so funny.

When I was a cocktail waitress, I always had cash in my pocket. If I wanted a new pair of shoes, I worked hard that night and bought the shoes the next morning. I didn't need a fancy apartment or a fancy car or a new coffee machine because I was never at home. I went out every night with friends or a date.

When I was a cocktail waitress, I had all the time off I needed. I could take a few weeks and go to Europe. I travelled the world. When I ran out of money in Greece, I could pick up a tray and wait tables on the Agean.

When I was a cocktail waitress, I wasn't lonely. I got 'Club Courtesy' to all the hottest spots in town, bartenders knew my name and gave me free Diet Pepsi, I hung out behind the bar with the DJ and knew the name of all the bouncers. People in the industry knew who I was.

When I was a cocktail waitress, I was good at my job. I was always smiling, customers adored me, and my boss thought I was perfect. I knew people's drinks, I was fast, I made everyone in my section feel special. I made more tips than anyone else at the bar. I trained new staff and people enjoyed working with me.

When I was a cocktail waitress, I never had to deal with my character defects. No matter how screwed up my life was, someone else's life was always worse. Problems were discussed over the dishwasher and few stale cigarettes in the back kitchen. My co-workers were like a family and they always knew exactly what Led Zeppelin mix would make me drop my tray, dance on the table and instantly change my mood.

When I was a cocktail waitress, I went to school in the morning and attended lectures and book readings in the middle of the afternoon. I had time to sit in coffee shops reading Nietzsche and Plato. I believed that some day my work was going to change the world. Then I would smooth on my fishnets, step into a push-up bra, slide into a sexy cocktail dress, grab my tray and apron and join my friends at the club.

When I was a cocktail waitress, I didn't know how great I had it. I longed to be important. I dreamt about meetings, conference calls, and secretarys that got me coffee. Some day I would hand out business cards, write memos, wear a business suit, and have a higher purpose.

Life was just so much simpler as a cocktail waitress.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi! My name is Christy, and I have applied at a club to become a cocktail waitress. I was surfing the net to find articles about it. I am so glad I read this! Thank you so much and I hope everything works out for you. ^^

Anonymous said...

well on the contrary i have been a cocktail waitress now for about 4 months and I hate it!!!

yeah at first it was great; it was a party every night. I would go to work at 9 pm get off at 2am, go out after till 5 or 6 am and then sleep till 2pm the next day. I could dress sexy and get attention from guys all night.

Then about 2 months into it this all faded away. Your working while everyone else is drinking and partying. Then when you do get out at 2am, everyone is usually feeling good and your just starting your night at 2am?? YOU HAVE NO LIFE!! you spend your thurdays, fridays, and saturdays making sure other people are having a good time while your running around in a little skirt. Your friends are going out to other places (because who the hell wants to go to the same bar all the time) while you are walking around (sober) catering on everyone.

I also learned that the guys at the bar are more interested in the girls who actually have time to talk versus the girl who is running around in a skirt catering on tables full of drunk people yelling orders at her. Its 1:00 am and I have to make sure ten tables all have their food and drinks and who gets what and smile smile smile and you can never be tired or have a bad night because nobody wants to have a waitress who is having a bad day.

Then theres the insecure girl/girlfriends at the bar giving you nasty looks. Its just annoying. Im trying to just wait on a table and be friendly (not even flirt) and they sit there with their stupid smug faces like they are better than you. You cant even be upbeat and friendly because they have this stupid puss on their face.

Then there are the regulars. The guys who want to sit at a table but then go to the bar and start a tab there. Not only are they taking up one of your tables and tipping the bar tender instead of you but they are leaving there dam glasses there and then your expected to clean up there fucking mess??? oh and to top it all off, I have to tip out the bartender who gives them their drinks who gets the tip instead of me while I was the one cleaning up ALL night while the bartender got their tips ALLLLL night and I dont get anything from them, nice.

And being hit on by guys you are not interested in gets old real quick. They ask you out, you say no, you get a shitty tip =) it can be that simple. and if you have a boyfriend...well now your just fucked. you have to be single and sexy all the time and always give the impression that you just might fuck them: no matter how unattractive, old, or obnoxious they are!

yeah being a cocktail waitress is just fucking awesome!!

Anonymous said...

I am a cocktail waitress and I love it! All of the men in the club want to be with you, rather than their girlfriends/ all of the other girls in the club. Yeah, I have to work weekends when everyone is partying, but its a cool job! And your friends, i.e the people you work with, are all on the same timescale as you, so it doesnt bother you! I normally do 12 hour shifts, 5pm til 5am, but then we chill after and have such a laugh talking about the night. Just enjoy it!! Better than a boring 9-5!

obbop said...

Females are best viewed as property of the male.

Lethargic beasts, at best, they are so easily persuaded with bright/shiny trinkets and baubles.

Their extreme self-centeredness and illogic coupled with emotion-laden thought processes precludes the vast majority of females from ever being adequately prepared for immersion in adult society.

This message endorsed by the Females as Property Movement.

Gra_buff said...

i just read this and this is exactly my life right now <3. i work 3 nights a week and make anywhere from 600- 1000 dollars a week. i've worked here for 7 months now, all of my co-workers and myself are great friends, and everyone thinks i'm so witty and a firecracker. i dye my hair red and love to put on a really pretty face before work. my job is my image and i do have a boyfriend but if you're a good cocktail you can get around telling the customers really slick. the girl a few posts up just sounds like she's not right for the job. but when i read this i thought someone wrote this about my life <3

Anonymous said...

I'm working in the wrong place. Casino in the midwest. Work 5 days, 8 hour shifts. I hate being hit on by middle aged men. I make about $400 a week. I work until the bars close and the liquor store closes. My management knows nothing about cocktailing. It's not a party, I walk about 10 miles a day. I never ever ever get time off. Especially the weekends. Or holidays. We're open 365 days a year.

Maria lopez said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

cocktail dresses

li said...

Which casino im about to srart at one in the midwest

Anonymous said...

I am a cocktail waitress at a casino. I am a single mother of 3. I never have time with my family unless it's on my off days wed/thurs no holidays off unless on my off days... Money is great but, other than that it is very hard on your body I have been doing this for about 5 years and already I wear a wrist brace I also go to school just bc I know my looks and my body will not last... But I will do this for as long as I am going to school and find a career.. Love all the people I work with and the some of the people I serve... It may seem glamorous but there is a lot of work to it... The money just sucks you right in... My friends have degrees but just still cocktail bc the money is better overall it pays the bills....

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